Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
