Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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