you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I understand Curling. That high.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
