how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize