Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
