is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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