Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
