i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
