No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
