I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize