some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
