I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
