Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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