Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
