just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
