i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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