Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
