Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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