she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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