is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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