he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
