I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
