Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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