I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
