chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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