hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize