Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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