it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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