can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
