they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
