Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
