I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
