so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize