i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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