shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
