I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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