He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We need to get me chipped asap
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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