I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize