yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
