I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
