Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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