at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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