things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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