i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
