I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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