Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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