I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
