you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
