New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
