you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
JƤgerbombs. Thank Sara.
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