I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
