He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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