i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hippo gnu deer
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
