I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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