people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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