So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
