You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
