is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
