Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
