I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
how does that bad decision feel?
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