He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Are my feet made of real feet?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
