Duck Duck Cougar?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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