I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I had to cum in my sink.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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