I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
