i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
