You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
