She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
