I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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