you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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