I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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