i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
