Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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